STD – Issue 52

It’s VIDEO GAME week here at STD. So, in the spirit of VP candidate Sarah Palin and her 17 kids we decided to give back to the children. Not losing sight of the bigger picture as well, we’re also extremely mindful of the fiscal crisis worldwide. STD feels for you. Really. That said, we’ve provided you with the best video game finds—ever. And they’re all for under $100. We figured you’re low on funds and needed some way to waist your last few. What you need, where to buy it, and how much, all in one place. Let’s be real, your cedis, dollars, pounds, euros, pesos and pulas won’t be worth much soon anyway. Just consider this an early birthday present from us. Speaking of presents, we’re still waiting on ours from the 50th Issue. Like Billy Paul says: “Let the dollars circulate.”

Pelican Accessories Afterglow Pro Controller
Playstation 3

What’s up with these PS3 controllers that shake throughout game play? Apparently this shaking isn’t a defect, but actually a feature of the controller. But what if you could get that desired Parkinson’s feeling and have a device that lights up all in one…and for half the price? It’s almost too good to be true! So turn off the lights and begin gaming in style.

Where To Buy: | Cost: $23

-A. Hugh Leonard

Tecmo Bowl
Nintendo Entertainment System

If you happen to still have your Nintendo Entertainment System in working condition (i.e. you only have to blow into the cartridge three times before the game plays) there are plenty of copies of this one floating around on the Internet. With an extravagant playbook totaling four plays (Run 1, Run 2, Pass 1, Pass2), it’s pretty much impossible for the defense to figure out your game plan. We spit on John Madden and his breathtaking graphics, live roster updates and authentic managerial modes. If this game is before your time, you probably won’t appreciate it. But for those who grew up on it: Shell out a few dollars for this blast from the past.

Where To Buy: | Cost: $10

– A. Hugh Leonard

FIFA ‘08
Xbox 360, PS2, Sony PSP, Nintendo DS

Let’s face it, soccer isn’t very big in the United States. In fact, the professional league here in the States had to import the biggest star in the sport just to make it a little bit more popular. So when it comes to video gaming you don’t have to spend the big dollars on the small sports. Odds are most people here can’t name more than a handful of soccer players, so playing last year’s installment won’t be that big of a deal. Unless Fifa ‘09 has a side feature on Ronaldo getting caught with that transvestite prostitute. Go grab a used copy of FIFA ’08 and score goals with the nameless athletes from last year.

Where To Buy: | Cost: $18

-A. Hugh Leonard

Mortal Kombat 2

There’s no debate: the original Mortal Kombat was ground-breaking. But MK2 was the ultimate fighting game of the nineties. Who do you think gave the Tekken games all their swag? MK2 will take you back to the days of those classic Sub-Zero vs. Liu Kang battles. For only $ 3.00 how could you not indulge over all the masterful storylines and cheesy one-liners—“Get over here!” You know you love it.

Where To Buy: | Cost: $3

-Jay Wonder

Sonic & Knuckles
Sega Genesis

I was always a bigger fan of Knuckles (probably because of the Hater in me). So when him and Sonic got equal play on the classic Sonic & Knuckles I was ecstatic, to say the least. Two characters and two different storylines all in one. And though Tails (Sonic’s ambiguous little buddy) wasn’t featured, the game is still as timeless as the entire Sonic trilogy before it. Take that Mario Bros.

Where To Buy: | Cost: $6

-Jay Wonder

Wii Dual Glow Sabers

You can kick ass and lose pounds all with the same Wii accessory. Star Wars has always been an epic story. Good versus evil. Love lost and regained again. Action, suspense, and drama. Jabba the Hutt and his slutty futuristic prostitutes. What more could you ask for? Luckily Wii found a way to enhance your celestial experience. And while you’ll never have real-life light sabers, it’s always fun to pretend. Just be careful where you point that thing.

Where To Buy: | Cost: $20

-Ahmad Smith

Need For Speed: Most Wanted
Xbox 360

Imagine being able to street-race and not get caught. Yeah, we were a little skeptical at first too, but hear us out. As part of the Need For Speed series, Most Wanted introduces all the fun of organized chaos back into your dull life. Sure, the original is a cult classic, but this is the streets homie. After all, who doesn’t want to be the most wanted? What up Hov!

Where To Buy: | Cost: $20

-Ahmad Smith

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